During certain phases of my life, I feel like I have nothing to say anymore, especially when meeting new people. But I cannot lie and say that it does not leak into my already established relationships. It feels strange how I have changed as I’ve aged. As a young girl I was very outspoken, and I stood by my convictions and truths more than others (even if they were wrong). I felt dirty anytime I went out of my already set beliefs. I’ve noticed that every time I level up on my beliefs and begin to understand new ways to improve my life, I feel that I surpass a level that I didn’t see moving out of. It is a really powerful step in the right direction to aligning with my higher self.
It can be hard to accept the fact the old version of myself is a head filled with different ideas, morals, and systems. But it also feels freeing to recognize my growth and know that when the opportunity for growth arises again, and the nerves begin to come back I can reflect and see that this feeling is all too familiar, and it too will pass.
I usually end up sitting with myself thinking “Why was I ever so concerned about something I knew would probably work out anyway? If I really just thought about it for 3 more minutes would I have still freaked out?” The worry comes from the work, not the outcome. The steps you take to break cycles and patterns of thoughts, the overwhelming times when you had to break down to break free, and the shadow work that is not always fun. When you actually do the work, you’ll thank yourself later. The ups and downs of life are exactly what make it so worthwhile.
But now I wonder, why I have become shyer and less outspoken while I feel more aligned with who I truly am, my rawest version of myself? There are so many people that are silenced by the fear of being seen as different or rejection. They anticipate what the world will think of them when they are fully themselves. Why does different sometimes correlate negative? We shun different and that is why the world is stuck in its habitual ways, it is not just a me thing, it is an everyone thing! I wonder, what is it about an idea that is so set in stone that when it later clicks in everyone’s mind, we think “wait why the hell did we do that before?” and that maybe we should not have been so certain after all? (if you have an idea, leave it in comments below!). Anything that gives someone potential to create something terrific, has the power to do the exact opposite and create something negative for personal gain.
I notice that I’m not the only one “leveling up”, I see all of humanity begin to shift and adjust their belief systems to a higher vibration, which is such a crazy phenomenon! I genuinely feel a shift in humanity recently and I see the veils of reality finally falling down. There is no telling if the truly evil or low vibrating entities of this world will ever completely vanish…but I have hope that by sharing a message of love, we can instill it in others and raise their vibration as well.
Through mindful practice, even those that have been an asshole since birth (because I definitely think that is a thing), can shift into a vibration of love!
I fully accept blame for some instances where I have been socially awkward, we all have those moments, but I think if we all worked to bring more comfort into this world than human connection would flow more easily. Like I said before, there is neutral energy, you decide how you want to channel it! Why are some purposefully embodying hate and rage when…we have 100% the choice to not be mad and angry? It is something I will have to work on and I hope the whole world does too.
I guess the underlying the message I want to get across through this entry is that yes, I have changed. Yes, my beliefs are different from what they once were, but one thing that has remained the same throughout is that my beliefs all circle around positivity and love. I may not be as outspoken, but the things I have to say are coming from a place of love and growth. So I encourage each of you to spread the love, broaden your horizons, speak your truth, and delve into what you are passionate about. The ideas and beliefs that you have are valid and deserve to be heard…so talk about them! You can spark up really interesting conversations and learn a lot from others through conversation. We are the ones who are going to change the world so let’s change it for the better. Let’s level up together!
- Katie Faith O’neill
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